Thursday, May 05, 2005

A few months, weeks , days on

Not sure how long I have been signed off now...was hoping to feel at least a bit better by now but it doesn't seem to be the case. Sleep seems to have improved a little but patchy, night before last was abysmal, had to get up 'cos legs had "gone" and was tossing and turning then later was waking every hour and fully awake from 4am...

The "dyslexic" hand writing is still evident ...I know what I want to write but the letters of the words come out garbled or order of numbers, am having some trouble finding words again and the odd ones are also garbled when I talk... which isnt often given my isolated life.

Second visit (v quick because bus was v late) with Mrs B the CBT specialist Tuesday at the surgery... the emphasis was full on getting me to go to alcohol counselling with the underlying message that "everything" is linked to my drinking too much...she seemed to think that I met Pete for an alcoholic drink every lunch time. Truth is we maybe meet once a fortnight at lunch and I have soft drinks, blackcurrant or coffee sometimes if I can get him to go the The Cafe with me.

Weekends are my weak point. As we almost always fail to plan to do anything different we drift into "let's have just one" when out shopping and after a couple I want a couple more... physically however about 8 units max and off home to sleep for me nowadays so I am not able to drink to the excesses of my youth...

Right now (Thurs) I have had no alcohol since Sunday and feel like shite...full on muscle aches, sweats, headache, bone tired etc etc.Cold turkey symptoms or?????

Anyway, I have promised myself and told P that I intend to stay sober till next appointment next Tuesday, ie no alcohol at all. As always he said yeah, I'm with you on that....

Menu Del Dia

Alcohol: Zero

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with asparagus & smoked salmon
Lunch: Pear...
Dinner: pan fried chicken (olive oil) with garlic, lardons and fresh herbs with steamed asparagus & 2 small new potatoes, stawberries & mixed berries with dairy free iced dessert
About 5 cups of tea, 1 americano coffee at the Cafe, 2 glasses blackcurrent & soda when wen to see Zoe. Lots of filtered water also.

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